thebengali.com

The other day, a Microsoft Word Document came running to me at breakneck speed.

“Aah … I … argh .. gasp!”

I sat at my desk patiently, making the breadstick in my hand shorter. Breadsticks are a disgustingly deceitful snack: it’s not bread but if you eat enough of them, you’ll miss the tandoori chicken for dinner. I can never get enough of breadsticks, and when I do, it’s too late.

“I have to be delivered Monday morning!” the Word document pronounced dramatically, after catching its breath.

“I see, but you just came in – won’t you stay a while?” I enquired, munching my fourth breadstick.

“No, no! I must be off – must get to the client’s inbox first thing Monday morning.”

“Really. Well, off you go then.”

“But, but, won’t you look at me?”

“You look pretty enough.”

“I mean, there’s nothing in me! You have to write me up!”

“Really. You do know that it takes 3 days to write a good design document.”

“Yes, yes. but today’s only Friday. So we can get there by Monday.”

“Uh, no. Friday is just over – it’s 6.03 pm. So, I will start on you Monday, and we can get you there by Thursday morning – like clockwork.”

“But Monday is when I should really get there.”

“Did the client ask for you to be there Monday?”

“No. but it’s good practice to be prompt…” “Well, you can decide between prompt and complete with good quality – it’s a choice you must make my friend.”

“The project manager wants to deliver by Monday.”

“Well, then ask the Project Manager to write you up.”

“How about Tuesday?”

“Suuure. I can have two of the seven sections complete by then and the client will get an idea about how the design looks from the Executive Summary and Requirements.”

“No, no! We need all the sections.”

“Well, okay then if you insist, I will put in the section headers.”

“Without the content?”

“Naturally.”

“Okay Wednesday morning then.”

“That’s 5 sections, but I will be stretching it.”

“Fine! But get me there by Thursday morning.”

“Of course.”

“I’m going then.”

“I’ll see you Monday morning.”